Where I Agree With Ignorance

Okay, you might want to sit down for this one. In fact, if you are of that persuasion, a strong drink beside you would be a good idea. I’m going to say something I never thought I would say.

I found an article on Return of Kings which I agree with.

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Really, mom? What the heck?

Return of Kings is probably one of the most disgusting websites out there that does not contain explicitly porn. It basically exists to enrage both New Feminists and Second-wave Feminists alike. When it first started out, I remember that it’s first several articles were critiqued on major Second-wave Feminist blogs which, incidentally, probably gave the darn website more attention than it would have garnished on its own.

But then, yesterday, they published something that I actually agreed with. I wasn’t happy with the tone. It was written in their characteristically cynical voice and, of course, it was insulting to women, but they showed this:

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And this:

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Those are actual birth control ads.

This is how the ROK author introduced it:

An off-brand IUD (intrauterine device) product that goes by the name “Skyla” recently put out a series of banner ads not just trumpeting the just-how-busy girls are these days, but just how much their hobbies and extravagant dreams are stand-ins for motherhood. Musical instruments and introductory textbooks, we learn, are the same as fulfilling your biological imperative of producing healthy offspring during your prime years. Having children is mutually exclusive with a rewarding life.

I’m not going to touch the “biological imperative” part with a ten-foot pole because it makes it sound as if we’re nothing but breeders. But I do have to applaud this: Having children is not mutually exclusive with a rewarding life.

Now, I could flood this post with pictures of celebrity moms, but we all know they have the money to afford childcare and all of those luxuries the rest of us can’t have. And this would seem to further imply that financial success=a rewarding life.

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You can have a rewarding life in any number of ways. In our society, we have so equated it with financial success, it’s hard for us to see it any other way. But we don’t need money to make us happy. We don’t need career success to make us happy. Studies say we need community, meaningful work, and…leisure to be happy. Children don’t get in the way of any of those things. My two-year-old tells me when it’s time to take a break. My son’s unexpected and traumatic arrival added fuel to my passion for all women’s issues. Some people find community through having kids. Kids lead to a rewarding life.

Of course, I’m still having trouble with all of these things. I wanted a career and I’m sure some of my single readers do to. So, let me share some more ordinary moms (like there is a such thing):

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First of all, there are a number of professional organizations that are for mom entrepreneurs, or momprenuers! Like the one with the above logo, there are a couple even for specifically Christian momprenuers. And these are not small organizations. There are tons of momprenuers out there and apparently they are a new thing in the business world so their numbers are only going to grow!

Original caption: Left to right, Kitty Spinelli, of Skaneateles, and Maria Miller, of Syracuse, are co-founders of Joseph's House for pregnant unwed women. Michelle Gabel | mgabel@syracuse.com

Original caption: Left to right, Kitty Spinelli, of Skaneateles, and Maria Miller, of Syracuse, are co-founders of Joseph’s House for pregnant unwed women. Michelle Gabel | mgabel@syracuse.com

Speaking of momprenuers, Joseph’s House, a home for women who choose life for their children and have no where to turn, was founded by two women who are not only mothers, but grandmothers. This amazing charity started from scratch has just celebrated their second birth in the home.

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Joan Nolan

Joan Nolan, one of my bosses and friends, is one of the main driving forces behind John Paul II Center for Women and Gianna Healthcare. She’s not only a mom, but she’s a mom in a very big family. The majority of the women working with her are also mothers (some with even bigger families). As an organization, we want to help women to recognize and appreciate their inherent worth and dignity. We want to combat all of those voices telling women that they are not enough.

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My mom runs from cameras.

I could not conclude this post without mentioning my own mom. Connie Seiglar is the COO of Northeast Missouri Health Council. Not only is she a mom, but she never stepped foot into a college classroom. She got her MBA from the School of Hard Knocks and she is one of very few COOs in the country who can say that. She has always had a successful career. And she had two pretty cute kids, if I may say so myself.

Birth control messes your body up. It “fixes” a natural body process. We all have “f-ed up priorities” (to quote the ROK article). Many women on birth control think that hobbies and a career will fulfill them and they want to have consequence-free sex. The “men” of ROK think that having no-strings-attached sex with spine-less women will make them happy. I think that writing the next Great American Novel will make my life complete. We are all wrong.

God first

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