The Green-eyed Monster

greeneyedmonster

So, a friend of mine from high school is getting married this weekend. Correction in the name of full-disclosure: a guy I was obsessed with in high school is getting married this weekend. But that has nothing to do with the jealousy.

4016BethMatt

Me and my lovely groom. Yes, we got free frozen custard on our wedding day. If you find yourself in St. Louis, you need to go to Ted Drewes. If you find yourself at a wedding in St. Louis, you need to go there for free stuff. And if you are somewhere in the St. Louis area and you’re looking for a photographer, call Amy Pflasterer. Image Copyright: Amy Pflasterer

The jealousy is this: a month into my marriage, I got pregnant. My lovely husband and I had never lived in the same city, much less under the same roof, and here we were, less than a year into our marriage with an infant neither of us were really planning on quite this soon.

jamesandmommy

In the hospital. He looks just about as surprised as I was when I took the pregnancy test.

My parents had 6 years before I was born. My in-laws had a couple years before my husband was born. Why didn’t I say “no” to Matt that morning when I knew full and well that I was too far along in my cycle to safely fool around?

And why am I complaining about this? My parents had six years not because they waited, but because they had fertility issues. I have a friend right now that is putting her body through hell in an effort to conceive. I have other friends who have had more than one miscarriage.

And here I am, an overweight woman (weight affects fertility) who wasn’t even being a good Catholic in my efforts to avoid pregnancy, with an unplanned, but perfectly happy and healthy baby boy.

Don't bat those pretty blue eyes at me.

Two years later. Don’t bat those pretty blue eyes at me.

I guess it boils down to this:

317d07e6ec58a55640dbfcc5a82024c0

We all have our challenges, we all have our demons. I shouldn’t be jealous of their clean slate. Who knows what they may already have on their plate and what fate plans to throw at them. I hope that their marriage can endure as well as mine has.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s